Theology and Therapy

Most couples who come into therapy think they have a communication problem. They assume that if they could just learn to say things more clearly, listen better, or argue more fairly, the relationship would finally start working. And communication certainly matters. But after years of working with couples, I have become convinced that communication is rarely the real issue. So what is the real issue? The deeper issue is formation. Who are we becoming inside this relationship?

Most couples who come into therapy assume they have a communication problem. They believe that if they could just learn to say things better, listen more carefully, or argue more fairly, the relationship would start working again. And communication certainly matters. But after years of working with couples, I have become convinced that communication is rarely the real issue. The deeper issue is emotional connection. Couples begin to feel alone with each other. Something break