Shira Hearn's Blog

At a conference this week, almost half the therapists in the room said they use EFT. Here is what that should mean in the room, and four questions to ask before you choose one.

Showtime's Couples Therapy is compelling television. Here is why it is a poor model of how couples therapy should work, and what real sessions look like.

Chatbots affirm you 49 percent more often than people do, and that makes you less likely to repair. What the research actually supports for couples, and where to start.

I asked Google's AI about my own practice and it got two things wrong. Here is why that matters when the subject is your marriage, not my office hours.

Premarital counseling is more than a box to tick before the wedding. It makes room for the important conversations you have not had yet.

Why Shira's standard couples sessions last 90 minutes, and why that time matters when you are driving in and trying to get beyond the same fight.

Understanding why you fight matters. So does what happens the next time you turn toward each other. A closer look at how psychodynamic couples therapy and EFT approach change.

Born in Jerusalem, couples therapist Shira Hearn reflects on Israel’s national anthem “Hatikvah” and the deeper psychology of hope. Drawing from her work with couples at Radical Relationship Transformation and the influence of Cameron Lee at Fuller Theological Seminary, this post explores how hope functions as imagination for the future in relationships and human resilience.

Why Shira took down a list of proven relationship tips—and why describing what happy couples do is not the same as helping a struggling couple.

What actually happens in Emotionally Focused Therapy? A plainspoken account of the work behind the familiar promise to help couples reconnect.

When your partner is angry, arguing back or explaining harder may add fuel. A look at slowing the conversation and understanding what is underneath.

Couples sessions with Shira Hearn cost $250 for 90 minutes, in person in Webb City near Joplin. See what the self-pay appointment includes.

Skeptical about couples therapy? A plainspoken look at what useful therapy should do—and why you do not have to arrive convinced it will work.

Not all couples therapy works the same way. Shira explains how EFT's focus on emotional connection differs from a communication-skills approach.

Still having the same fight after trying to communicate better? Learn how Emotionally Focused Therapy works with the cycle underneath the argument.

Family expectations, money, and packed schedules can leave you at odds. A guide to understanding what is underneath holiday tension as a couple.

Why can the holidays bring more arguments and distance? A look at how extra stress makes a couple's existing difficulties harder to manage.

Gratitude does not have to mean pretending everything is fine. A reflection on noticing what is real without forcing yourself into positivity.

Think therapy is for other people? Shira writes about couples, working lives, and getting help in Jasper County without performing a therapy persona.

Recurring fights, growing distance, and feeling like roommates can be signs to seek help. Ten reasons couples consider marriage therapy.