Radical
Relationship
Transformation
How faith is part of the
work
Questions
Schedule an
appointment
CHRISTIAN PREMARITAL COUNSELING IN JOPLIN & WEBB CITY
Christian Premarital Counseling in Joplin, MO
You are not only planning a wedding. You are deciding
how you will live together when the decisions are
difficult, the money is tight, the family boundaries get
complicated, the sex is not simple, and one of you is
hurt by the other.
Faith should be part of the foundation of the work—not a Bible verse added to
the bottom of a general premarital checklist. We will look honestly at the
relationship you already have, the marriage you want to build, and the patterns
that will come with you unless they are understood and changed.
Schedule an appointment
See how faith is part of the work →
Faith-informed. Clinically grounded. Honest about the parts that matter.
The marriage is the
part that lasts.
Prepare for that part.
$250
per appointment
90 minutes
enough time to do the work
In person
with both partners present
Webb City
on the Joplin border
BEFORE THE WEDDING
A wedding can
be beautiful
and still fail to
prepare you for
marriage.
Most couples know how to be in love. You may not yet know
how the two of you handle disappointment, fear, conflict,
sex, money, exhaustion, or the moment one of you needs
comfort and the other feels accused.
That is not a moral failure. It is simply the work of becoming a married couple. You do
not have to wait until the relationship is in crisis to take it seriously.
01
The same argument
You keep circling the same fight and do not
want it to become the shape of your
marriage.
02
Different expectations
You agree about loving God but differ
about roles, money, sex, family, children, or
church.
03
Intimacy feels loaded
You want to talk about sex before shame,
pressure, or silence settles in.
04
A thoughtful beginning
Your relationship is good, but you want to
be wise rather than naïve about what
marriage will ask of you.
FAITH AT THE
FOUNDATION
Faith is not a
tag-along
here.
It is part of the way we understand
marriage, commitment, forgiveness,
responsibility, and repair.
You probably do not want a generic relationship
program with a short prayer at the beginning and a
Bible verse at the end.
You want to talk about marriage as covenant. You want your faith taken
seriously without having it used to shut down honest questions. You want to
explore forgiveness, humility, commitment, service, sexual faithfulness,
responsibility, and grace as realities you will have to live—not merely words
that sound good in a ceremony.
I am a Christian, a pastor’s daughter, and a Fuller Seminary–trained Licensed
Marriage and Family Therapist. Faith is part of how I understand people,
marriage, suffering, responsibility, hope, and repair.
Covenant, not just
compatibility.
We talk about the promises you are
making and the kind of couple you
want to become.
Forgiveness with honesty.
Forgiveness is not pretending harm did
not happen or skipping accountability.
Grace without avoidance.
Grace gives you a way to tell the truth
without turning the truth into a
weapon.
Sex as covenant connection.
We make room for safety, trust, desire,
communication, and vulnerability.
THE CONVERSATIONS WORTH HAVING
Before the wedding, talk about
the life after it.
Premarital counseling is not about finding every possible difference and treating it as a
warning sign. It is about learning how to approach differences without losing each other.
Your conflict cycle
Who reaches, who retreats, what
each of you fears, and how the
pattern escalates.
Marriage expectations
Roles, decision-making, work,
home responsibilities, leadership,
service, and power.
Family & boundaries
Parents, in-laws, holidays,
privacy, loyalty, and building a
new family.
Money & practical life
Spending, saving, debt, financial
transparency, work, ambition,
and responsibility.
Sex & intimacy
Desire, initiation, rejection,
affection, pornography, shame,
and emotional meaning.
Children & parenting
Whether you want children,
fertility, discipline, and the beliefs
from your own homes.
Faith & shared practice
Prayer, Scripture, church,
spiritual leadership, community,
doubt, and daily values.
Emotional safety
How you ask for reassurance,
comfort, attention, or space
without making the other person
defend their worth.
FAITH-INFORMED. EVIDENCE-BASED. BUILT FOR COUPLES.
See the pattern before it
becomes the marriage.
I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), an
attachment-based approach for couples. We pay
attention not only to what you argue about, but to what
happens underneath the argument.
One of you may push for an answer because distance feels frightening. The other
may go quiet because conflict feels overwhelming or impossible to win. The
more one pursues, the more the other withdraws. Then both of you feel alone
and misunderstood.
1
Recognize the cycle
The problem is no longer simply your partner.
2
Reach what is underneath
Find the fear, longing, shame, or need for reassurance.
3
Practice a new response
Respond in ways that make emotional safety more possible.
the pattern
The pattern sounds like this:
“Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Because nothing I say helps.”
Both of you end up alone.
Faith gives the marriage meaning. EFT gives
us a clinically grounded way to work with the
moments when the two of you lose contact
with that meaning.
DIFFERENT LEVELS OF
CERTAINTY
You do not
need matching
levels of
certainty.
Sometimes one partner wants Christian premarital
counseling more strongly than the other.
One of you may be eager. The other may be skeptical, tired, or worried that “Christian
counseling” means being preached at, judged, or told to submit without being heard.
You do not need to pretend those concerns are not there. I will help both of you speak
honestly about what you believe, what you expect, what you fear, and what you need
from the marriage you are about to build.
“Faith can be deeply important
without becoming a tool for
winning the argument.”
THE PRACTICAL PART, WITHOUT THE RUNAROUND
Enough room to do the work.
You do not need to arrive with a complete relationship history, a
polished explanation, or agreement about everything. You need
enough willingness to show up and look honestly at what is
happening between you.
$250
per appointment
90 minutes
in person, with both partners present
Private pay
insurance is not billed
My office is at my office near the Webb City/Joplin border, on the Webb City–Joplinborder.
Schedule an appointment
Call or text 417-768-9089
BEFORE YOU BOOK
Questions Christian
couples ask.
Is this Christian counseling or premarital therapy?
–
It is clinically grounded premarital couples therapy shaped by a Christian understanding of
marriage, covenant, responsibility, grace, and repair. Faith is not tacked onto the work, and
clinical skill is not replaced with religious advice.
Do we both have to be Christian?
–
No. Couples may come with different levels of belief, certainty, or church involvement. I will
respect those differences and will not pressure either partner to perform faith. Both of you need
to be willing to talk honestly about what Christianity means for the marriage you are building.
Can we talk openly about sex?
–
Yes. Sexual intimacy deserves more than embarrassment, silence, pressure, or vague advice. We
can talk about desire, initiation, rejection, arousal, affection, expectations, pornography, shame,
and the emotional meaning sex carries for each of you.
What if one of us is reluctant?
–
Reluctance is welcome in the room. You do not need matching enthusiasm. You both need
enough willingness to be honest, stay engaged, and consider that the pattern between you may
be more complicated than either person’s explanation of it.
How much do sessions cost?
–
Sessions are $250 for 90 minutes, in person, with both partners present. Sessions are private pay, and insurance is not billed.
Radical Relationship
Transformation
Shira Hearn, LMFT · Missouri license
#2022045023
Christian premarital counseling for couples in Joplin, Webb City, Carthage,
Neosho, Carl Junction, and the surrounding Southwest Missouri area.
YOU ARE PREPARING FOR MORE THAN ONE DAY
Start building the marriage now.
The wedding will be a day. The marriage will be the thousands of
ordinary moments after it—the hard conversation in the kitchen,
the decision about money, the call from a parent, the night one of
you is afraid.
Christian premarital counseling gives you a place to practice becoming the kind of couple you
hope to be in those moments.
Schedule an appointment
Call or text 417-768-9089 · shira@radicalrelationshiptransformation.com
COUPLES ARE MY WHOLE PRACTICE
Your relationship should not be
squeezed into individual therapy.
Couples work requires tracking two people at once, protecting both partners, noticing the
cycle in real time, and helping each person reach the other without turning the session into a
courtroom.
At Radical Relationship Transformation, I work with couples exclusively. I will challenge both
of you, work hard to understand both of you, and keep the focus on the marriage you are
trying to build.
Shira Hearn, LMFT · Missouri license #2022045023