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Your first couples session
BEFORE YOU WALK THROUGH THE DOOR
What to Expect at Your
First Couples Session
A lot of the couples I see have never been to therapy before—not
couples therapy, and sometimes not even individual therapy. If that is
you, it is completely reasonable to wonder what you are walking into.
Schedule an appointment
↗
100–110 minutes at $180, in person.
Here’s how we begin
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Shira Hearn
Couples are my whole practice.
Talking to a
stranger
01
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The introductory
session
02
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What changes as we
go
03
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A WORD ABOUT TRUST
And yes, talking to
a stranger is weird.
Your privacy does not depend
on how many people I know.
I am very aware that it’s weird to pick a stranger on the internet and then sit in
her office talking about the messiest, most private parts of your relationship.
Things you might not have told your closest friends.
It can feel even stranger in a community where everybody seems to know
everybody. You might be wondering who I know, who knows you, and
whether something you say could become somebody else’s conversation. And,
man, have I seen the gossip mill go round and round. I understand the
hesitation.
Maybe it helps to know that I’ve only been in Joplin for a couple of years and
still feel quite like an outsider.
But your privacy does not depend on how many people I know. Protecting
your confidentiality is both a legal obligation and an ethical responsibility
of my profession. There are specific exceptions, which we’ll go over when
we begin, so you understand what is private and when disclosure might be
required.
You also don’t have to feel comfortable telling me everything immediately.
We’ve just met. I need to get to know you, and you need a chance to get to
know me.
THE INTRODUCTORY SESSION
The first session
can feel a little
disorganized.
Here is the first thing to know: that is partly intentional.
The first session is an introduction. I need to hear what brought you in, but I
also need to understand who you are as a couple. I want to hear how you met,
what has mattered in your relationship, what has happened along the way, and
where things started becoming difficult.
Most importantly, I need to see what happens between you when you get
stuck.
I am often less involved during the first session than I will be later. I do not
want to organize the conversation too quickly or restrict it so tightly that I miss
something important. I need enough room to listen to both of you, notice
what happens between you, and begin making sense of the pattern underneath
the problem.
WHAT I’M LISTENING FOR
“I sometimes think of this as the
session where I am figuring out
which glasses I need to put on.”
The problem you arrive with matters, but I am also listening for what the
problem means to each of you—and what happens when you try to talk
about it together.
AS WE CONTINUE
It gets more
organized.
As we continue, the sessions will become more organized. I will
become more active in slowing down the conversation, helping you
recognize the cycle you keep getting pulled into, and making sure
both partners have room to be understood.
WE CAN START WHERE YOU ARE
You do not need to arrive with
your story perfectly organized.
You do not need to agree on exactly what the problem is. And you do not
need to know how to explain everything correctly.
That is part of what we are there to figure out together.
Your first appointment
100–110 minutes at $180, in person.
Self-pay · Both partners present
Schedule an appointment
↗
or
417-768-9089
Call
text
I answer my own calls and texts.
Directions & contact information
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Radical Relationship
Transformation
Shira Hearn, LMFT · MO
#2022045023
About Shira
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© 2026 Radical Relationship Transformation
In person near Joplin & Webb City
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